It’s quite funny how a single thought or action can be a sort of prelude to what is to come.
I am a morning person by fault and I’m also that annoying person who gets up at the sound of the alarm and never hit snooze. On that Tuesday morning, I decided I wasn’t going to go to the Gym and I would just lay there and rest because I deserved it and also .. “what is the point, it’s not like to have to go to work today or any day for that matter”. I resigned from my Job in July 2022 due to a number of reasons where sickness was the main one and it was difficult to work (literally) after being sabotaged by another co-worker. Just when you think things could not get worst, a person from the past I’ve spent the last 3 years avoiding, came back into my life. Sounds like the start of a novel? Nah, this is my actual life!
What Hitting Rock Bottom Taught me About Myself
This took a toll on my mental health as it was one of those on-again-off-again types of situations. Ladies, we need to stick a pin in relationships that have been Dead on Arrival and stop allowing these men to project their toxic upbringing onto us as we strive to level up.
This saw me working from home and working with the 3 clients I’ve had for a while where my future was in my hands and also the success of their business – this scared me and I actually felt hopeless as I was now earning a lot less than before. In everything that happens in life and as the good book says:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
This simply means in everything, there is a lesson and though we cannot see or understand it, all these things are in fact happening for our good. Below, are a few things I’ve learned thus far since hitting rock bottom.
Health is Better Than Wealth
I’ve explained in previous Blog posts that I have Dysmennoreah where I experience excruciating pain due to menstrual cramps and several other factors like back pain, headache, nausea, vomiting, etc. Because I was in an office, I was not able to do frequent check-ups and didn’t realise most of the pain was due to being constantly stressed. I was however able to go to the gym twice per week (before work), but I needed the attention and care that comes from being consistent with my check-ups and making important decisions relating to my health. If I am not in the best of health then all other areas of my life will be dysfunctional as I won’t be able to carry out daily functions.
I Am an Absolute Mess
I saw a quote on Facebook that smacked me upside my head that said “Make sure you are not the weapon forming against yourself, to keep you from prospering”. Maan! This is me and I am that! Whenever I have a difficult situation whether personally or professionally, I have two (2) go-to coping mechanisms.
- Isolate and hide from everyone
- Cuss everybody out and set fire to a bridge of ever rebuilding
These two extremely toxic traits have caused me to lose friendships, relationships, and jobs. As I sit here aware of these traits, I have decided to get help through therapy to work on these areas that I struggle with. As I’m getting older, I really want to live a peaceful and happy life with as many people as possible and I do not want to carry on living like that. It’s ok to be a mess as long as I’ve made the conscious decision to work on myself.
I am Not Alone
As humans, it is natural to think that we are the only ones going through a situation as we cannot think or see past what Is going on in our heads. The world is a vast place filled with Billions of people and there are millions of others facing the same or similar issues as me! Here in the Caribbean, we are taught to keep things under wraps as nobody needs to know our business. While I agree that not everything should be shared on the Internet, there are some things that should be. Just imagine, If we were to share what we are going through in a real and vulnerable way, without saying too much, I guarantee there is somebody out there who went through the same thing, got out on the other side, and can offer guidance on exactly what to do.
It’s Ok to Ask For Help
I have this toxic trait where I like to suffer in silence and never say what’s wrong as I don’t want to feel like a burden to people. This has caused me to do everything by myself which has in some way delayed my success and breakthrough. I would say I’m only 20% on this journey as I’ve shared a few bits on my current situation with one person, and he has been an amazing friend and support system as I travel through these murky waters.
I Cannot Fail
Now here comes all the cliche’ stuff, but I want you to really think about this— since I’m already here at the lowest point, there is no way I can fail. I literally have nothing to lose. There is the other side of this where I can say “I cannot fail” because I’ve worked so hard for this and I never want to hit rock bottom again. The thing about being at the bottom is that the only way from here is up as I literally cannot go lower than where I am. This is both scary and hopeful as I know the odds have been stacked against me so the ball is literally in my court.
We are all going through or have experienced a difficult season in our life that causes us to feel hopeless. If you are in a less than favourable situation just ask yourself. “What is the lesson here”? — if things become too much for you to handle on your own, please ask for help!
Be kind to people, we are all fighting a battle and the words you use could be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Let me know how you’ve dealt with an extremely difficult situation in your life.